Blackout!

So here’s a story for you that should get a few chuckles.  I wish I could chuckle with you.  

Back in early April, I had a severe sinus infection combined with some flu symptoms (fever, cold sweats, nausea, etc.).  I was so congested and miserable that I couldn’t sleep.  I took some Nyquil for some relief, but it wasn’t really working for me.  My wife then gave me one of her sleeping pills which seemed like a good idea at the time.  About 3 a.m., I wake up with the urge to vomit.  I hustle out of bed and into the bathroom to try and reach the toilet.  I think the head-rush of jumping out of bed and the sleeping pill (not to mention the Nyquil) caught up to me and I crashed to the floor – completely blacked-out (which isn’t a good thing if you’re 6’2”, 250 lbs).  Next thing I know, come to lying on the bathroom floor in an awkward position with no idea of how long I had been out (my wife – bless her heart – later mentioned that she had heard a big crash, but figured I had just knocked something off the counter).  After I got my wits about me, I figured out that I had somehow shaved off a sizeable piece off the outside of my big toe – the blood being the major clue.  That pain wasn’t as bad as my foot though – and then there was my knee that felt a bit ‘off.’  Anyway, the black & blue coloration on my foot in the morning combined with the pain let me know that something was definitely wrong.  I went to the foot doctor, and sure enough, I chipped a piece of bone off one end of the toe joint, and cracked a second bone. 

The good news is that the sinus infection, flu, etc. is long gone, and the foot is healing up and feeling better.  But my knee went from feeling ‘off’ to a steady pain, so I went in to another doc last week to get it checked out.  The diagnosis is a torn meniscus – which typically requires surgery.  They scheduled me for an MRI, but I canceled – I’m too cheap to pay for those things (it would cost more than the surgery on the knee).  So I’m now hobbling around with bum knee hoping that it will fix itself.  The more likely case is that I’ll suffer for another month or two before I figure out that my fall hunting might be in jeopardy from this blasted thing – then go spend the money and get it fixed.

And here’s the icing on the cake.  I packed up the kids and took them fishing at Canyon Ferry reservoir on Memorial Day.  The fishing was horrible – not a single bite in a few hours of solid effort, so we resorted to skipping rocks.  My 12 year old daughter was finally getting the hang of skipping rocks, but consistently had a late release and would shoot the rocks more up the shoreline than out into the lake.  I was comfortably sitting in my camp chair on the shoreline, enjoying the evening, when my daughter - standing all of 2 feet away from me – launches a rock directly into my good knee.  I could have killed her if I didn’t lover her so much.

Like most experiences in life, there are lessons to be learned.  Here are my key learnings from these experiences:

Lesson #1: Throw up in bed. In the end, it’s cheaper

Lesson #2: Don’t let your wife slip you any pills

Lesson #3: It’s hard not to swear around your kids when they throw rocks at your knees